Sarah sat next to the window. It was cloudy outside, and somehow the gloominess crept into her head, clouding her thoughts and darkening her inner peace. It was just one of those days.
So much seemed so wrong in her life. She watched the rain race down the windowpane like tears as she thought about all of the negative things in her life. She couldn’t help it. It seemed that each time she pulled her focus to something positive, the world found a way to push her off her feet and send her crashing to the ground once more. She was getting tired of fighting with these thoughts and began thinking of a way out. She thought about how this “way out” would teach her unreasonable boss a lesson. How it would be one final slap in the face to her ex-husband. So Sarah took a bottle of pills and got comfortable on her bed, ready to say good-bye to all of her problems. With shaking hands, she lifted a handful of pills up, but before she could take them, a woman walked into the room.
She quickly stashed the pills under her pillow and said, “Who are you? What are you doing here?”
The woman walked up to her side and said, “I know what you are about to do. Honestly, I am not here to stop you, but I am here to make sure you understand fully what you are about to do.”
“I won’t change my mind,” Sarah said firmly.
The woman smiled at her and held out her hand. “Will you follow me please?”
Sarah hesitated for a second, then got up and walked up to the woman. She followed the woman as she walked through the house. They entered a room with four doors within it. “Where did this room come from?” she asked, looking around the room confused.
The woman pointed at the door on the left and said, “Let’s start with this one.”
Hesitantly, she walked over to it and opened it. Her mother stood in a kitchen next to her childhood self, baking cookies. “Momma loves you!” her mother said, giving Sarah’s younger self a kiss, followed by a big hug. Sarah stood in the doorway and watched a smile spread across her childhood self’s face, followed by a joyous laugh. They continued rolling the chocolate-chip cookie dough into little balls and placing them onto the baking sheet. Sarah smiled and watched. She loved her mother. She had forgotten about this day. The memories of that fun day came flooding back to her.
The woman tapped on her shoulder and said, “It’s time to see what is behind the next door.”
“OK,” said Sarah. She walked over to the next door and opened it to see sleeping bags spread out across the living-room floor of their old house. Sarah watched as a younger version of herself came bouncing into the room, followed by three of her best friends.
They spent the evening playing board games and talking about everything imaginable. One of her friends, Carlie, put her hand out and said, “OK, you guys, pinky promise we will always be friends!”
The girls ran over to her giggling as they put their hands together. “I love you guys!” said Sarah’s past self to the smiling girls around her.
Sarah watched these moments like a movie she never wanted to end. But again, the woman gestured for her to open the next door.
Behind the third door was a sunny day at the beach with her grandpa. “Grandpa! Grandpa! Watch this!” her younger self said with excitement. Her grandpa looked in her direction as she attempted to stand up on her inner tube. She slipped and fell through the center of her inner tube. She coughed as she went underwater. Sarah watched as her grandpa came running to help her out of her inner tube.
“Are you OK, my dear?” he asked with concern.
After she stopped coughing, she nodded. Her grandpa gave her a big hug. “Thank you, Papa!” she said.
They walked back onto the sandy beach, and he wrapped her in a cozy oversized towel.
Sarah felt the woman tap on her shoulder once more. It was time to open the final door. Expecting another moment with family or friends, Sarah opened the fourth door to reveal a mirror. She looked through the door at herself standing there with her hand on the doorknob. “I…I don’t get it,” she said.
Sarah saw the woman walk up beside her. “Now that you have opened all of these doors, it is time for you to make your choice. If you are truly ready to leave all of this behind, close the doors.”
Sarah looked at herself in the mirror and grasped the doorknob tightly. She couldn’t break eye contact with herself. Her eyes glazed over as she looked at the woman that stood before her. “I…I can’t do it,” she said. Tears rolled off her face and speckled her shirt.
“Why is that?” asked the woman
Sarah thought about this question, and it moved her. She looked into the mirror and said, “Because until now, I hadn’t taken the time to actually think about it, but I realize now—I love myself too much.”
The room was silent. She sat on the floor in front of the mirror and cried. She sat there and thought about all the happy moments that the woman had shown her. She wasn’t ready to close the door on any of it. She loved her family, she loved her friends, and she loved herself.
Sarah stood up and collected herself.
“Thank…you,” she said, looking around the room for the woman, but the woman was gone. She turned and looked into the mirror once more and smiled. Though sometimes her life seemed dark, the darkness was nothing compared to the light that was cast upon her by her family and friends. She did indeed have a wondrous life, and she wasn’t ready to give that up.
Genre: Sentimental Drama
A gut-wrenching story about a woman on the brink of suicide.